Keep on floor after opening

As many of you (let's face it, all of you) know there are certain stipulations for storing certain perishable items after opening: “refrigerate after opening” “store in a cool dry place” … things like this. When in America I considered these warnings very serious, as serious as ripping off a mattress tag dare I say. My new stipulation is open it and see what happens. Since moving here I've lived in a place without refrigeration or cool dry places and most things don't need them thanks to the invention of Kenyan products such as: Blue Band, no refrigeration needed “butter”, Miksi, powder milk, eggs straight from chickens, and ketchup, okay, that's American but it doesn't need to be refrigerated. Personal discoveries include: Spaghetti CAN last two days but you definitely have to boil the sauce and keeping drinks on the floor makes them slightly cooler than room temperature. This week I’ve been experimenting with how long I can get cheese to last if I store it on the floor.... so far so good, no mold and it's been about 5 days.

Sick of being sick

Last week I did not report but I was sick. Real sick. Luckily it was short lived and I was able to shake it off and go back to school the following day. Last weekend on Sunday I woke up with the tell tale symptoms of on-coming illness: sore throat and just overall crapiness. By the end of the day Sunday I was achy and feverish and there was snot EVERYWHERE. Having a cold in Kenya is one of the more bizarre things I deal with almost every time the weather changes here. I took two sick days this week, but 3 sick days in one week for two different illnesses seems extreme to me and I’m not thrilled about it. This time though, I’m certain can be blamed on the weather, which has gotten almost unbearable as far as heat is concerned. I walked through a dust storm today just to get bread.

Viper vs. Chicken

So it's Tuesday. I'm on my second sick day in a row just laying in bed trying to rest off my cold by watching a movie. I hear something going on outside, it's a real ruckus and it sounds like there's a turkey involved. My body seizes up and listens for more sounds to piece together whats going on knowing full well that if my dog has gotten at one of the Priest's prize ugly turkeys he's gonna be pissed. Deciding I need to find out what's going on I throw on my robe and run outside to see the following: German holing Viper by the collar. Viper's mouth covered in feathers. Chicken flailing in the corner of the dog pen. Me standing helpless in my robe with my hands cupped over my mouth.

The remedy the German and I decide is for me to take Viper and tie her to the pole while he goes and informs Juma of the recent happenings.

While waiting for Juma to return Viper is running around like a maniac trying to claim what is rightfully hers (so she thinks).

When Juma arrives he walks into the dog pen and stands looking at the chicken. I can't paint a picture for you as to what he sees because I do not deal well with seeing animals that are in pain, dead or dying, not my idea of a good time. Juma leaves the pen and mumbles something along the lines of “I'm not dealing with this, let her have it” I assume anyway... I didn't really hear him, but based on body language and general nonsense of the situation that's the jist.

Juma walked away and I turned to confirm with the German that I understood before I let Viper loose to claim her prize.

I returned to my house quickly, shut the door and turned the volume up on my movie so as not to hear anything that would provide me of any mental image as to what was happening out there.

Later, I decided if I just peeked into her pen I'd be able to stomach it. I didn't go in and thoroughly investigate but all I saw were feathers.

Chicken was what was for dinner.

Viper vs. Random kiddo

The day following the great chicken massacre of 2012 I ran into the priest as he was talking to a Mother and son. He called me over to inspect a child that had apparently been bitten by Viper the week prior. I knew nothing of this.

I asked how it happened because I'm the only one that takes her out of the garden and had she bitten someone on my watch I’m pretty sure I would have known about it.

Turns out, in the process of teasing Viper this child ever so intelligently stuck his foot underneath the garden gate door and Viper bit him.

I will say as a side note that yesterday after work I caught a kid throwing boulder size rocks at her through the decorative brick of our garden.

Make your own judgments.

Small town life

I ran into town today to pick up a few things at the market.... normally an enjoyable experience because everyone there knows my name. Today it was better. I was checking out at our fancy new register that then required the hiring of fancy new staff to run the register and the cashier realized they didn't have a one shilling coin and after speaking to the manager who also did not have a one shilling coin they asked me to settle for a piece of candy instead of a one shilling coin. YES. It's much easier to get rid of a piece of candy than a one shilling coin... trust me.

Other than that, I’m at the tail end of my sickness, thankfully. Next weekend a fellow volunteer will be coming to visit and I’m desperately hoping that I can break my latest habits and finally get some things done this weekend. I haven't done laundry in weeks and considered just folding my dirty laundry and putting it in my drawers and play pretend. Don't worry, I didn't.

Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

Ok, I lied.

Ok, my apologies for not actually posting every Friday, however in my defense I wasn't around a computer most Fridays. But now I have plenty of time to update you and then try again for the every Friday thing since I'll be around Sega for a while now.
I did try to attach pictures but they were taking FOREVER, so those of you that are my facebook friends you can check them out there or bug my mom to show them to you!

Model School
So I traveled out to Machakos again to help out with training. One of the most stressful weeks of training is model school where a few poor unsuspecting kids at the Deaf school are forced to stay at school an extra week and let a bunch of brand new volunteers teach them. There were four volunteers "supervising" this week while the trainees taught. All in all it turned out to be a pretty good week, all the trainees did really well and all of them ended up swearing in!
The most exciting part of the week was definitely getting to stay in the dorms in bunk beds trying to fashion round mosquito nets into something that would fit on square bunks. Oh it was a hoot! I'd like to include for anyone interested instructions for using the bathrooms in the dorms at Machakos School for the Deaf:
Step 1: Hold up your skirt or it will get wet
Step 2: Step carefully into the puddle also known as the bathroom floor.
Step 3: Turn around and go back to the dorm because you forgot to bring toilet paper
Step 4: repeat Steps 1 and 2
Step 5: Choose a stall that doesn't have shit all over the floor
Step 6: Hold the door closed with one hand and simultaneously pull down your underwear and pull up your skirt without getting it wet.
Step 7: Hold the door closed and squat over the hole in the ground, don't let ANYTHING touch the puddle on the floor.
Step 8: Try to hold your skirt off the ground while squatting and get the toilet paper out of the hand that's holding the door shut (because you forgot to put the toilet paper in the correct hand to start with, oops) without letting the door open.
Step 9: Enjoy the cold breeze blowing in under the door.
Step 10: Cleverly stand and pull up your underwear and still hold your skirt up at the same time.
Step 11: While holding skirt up to avoid the floor/puddle cautiously step out of the bathroom
Step 12: You did it! Run a victory lap!

Medical
Straight after training we hired out our very own matatu and headed in to Nairobi for our mid-service (YEA THATS RIGHT MID SERVICE!) medical checks.
You know when you go to a fancy wedding and you check into a hotel and the reception desk gives you a welome bag from the loving couple?
It was just like that but instead of a goody/welcome bag it was a bag for us to shit in. Isn't that nice?
Through the night we considered several options for getting out of giving samples including but not limited to melting/smashing chocolate bars in the containers, and swapping samples.
I'll spare you the tutorial on this, but my sample was a success. Actually our medical team was thrilled to see us with our little brown lunch bags full of our crap in the morning.
Anyway I got as clean a bill of health as possible for being me. Mostly it was a lot of sitting around talking about our crap samples and talking about what we would eat the rest of our time in Nairobi.

Ryan time!
Most of you know by now, one of my closest friends here in Kenya is Ryan who lives way up in Marsabit which is practically Ethiopia as far as I'm concerned. She got to come back to site with me and visit for a week! It was great to have her around, and since there's not a ton of exciting things to do here we taught Viper some new tricks and had several movie marathons including a Harry Potter marathon which quickly turned into watching the first 1.5 movies and then skipping to the last two. We also had a one arm movie marathon... this only included 2 movies, but hey, we did it and I thought it was worth mentioning.
At the end of our week together we traveled to Kisumu and ate delicious Indian food and then parted ways so I could go meet my MOM!

The arrival
So the plan was for my mom and I to meet in Nairobi and fly directly to Mombasa. Now the last time I tried this my visitors' flight landed like 3 hours late and I almost lost my mind. This time I ended up landing in Nairobi about 15 minutes before my mom, so I hurried to get my luggage and headed over to international arrivals to be crowded by a bunch of Brits who apparently have no respect for personal space. Of course, thanks to customs the arrivals just trickled out of the doors about 2 every 5 minutes, but eventually Mom came out and after elbowing some Brits out of my way we were finally reunited after 15 months. It was wonderful and we had plenty of time to catch our next flight to the coast.

Coast
Hot. Wow, so very very hot.
We stayed again at Sarah's house in Kilifi and did a shopping day in Malindi where we almost melted. We did dinner on the Indian Ocean and just caught up on life.
The following day we snorkeled in Kilifi which ended up being really great! We were the only people on the boat and the boat staff were great.
With great enthusiasm we left the coast with lots of souveniers and heat rash and got a night train to Nairobi.

Hell's Gate
Luckiily we had smooth travel (with the exception of all the luggage we were carrying at this point) from Nairobi to Naivasha where we planned to meet with Ryan, whose travel unfortunately was not as smooth as ours so we headed on to our campsite out near Hell''s Gate.
Upon arrival we found after lugging all our crap down this mountain that we had to go to upper camp which you guess it is UP. Luckily we were so pathetic looking at this point that one of the staff members carried two of our big bags for us to our cabin. God bless him, it was a real hike getting up that thing, but the view of Lake Naivasha was just wonderful.
Don't worry, Ryan didn't die, she arrived shortly after us, equally as exhausted.
Late to bed and early to rise we did way too much work and biked to the gorge at Hell's Gate which was beautiful. We hired a tour guide to get us through the gorge who did a great job considering our lack of skill at climbing anything. He had this fantastic walking stick and he kept throwing it in terrifying places and once the stick was thrown you had no choice you were climbing up it or down it. More than once this man actually grabbed my feet and shoved them into whatever divot in the rock they were supposed to be in but I just couldn't find.
After catching our breath we biked the 5 km out of the park where we quite luckily spotted giraffes gazelle and some very territorial zebras.
All in all one of my favorite things I've done in Kenya so far and I was thrilled that Mom was able to see it with us!

Masaii Mara
I almost don't want to write about this one. Sometimes I come across people that make me rethink almost all of my choices regarding Peace Corps.
We were paired with two Kenyan families both with young children all around the same age who made it their life's work to annoy me to the ends of the earth. My favorite part was when one of the kids kicked my shoe out the door for it to become lion food. Luckily they were cheap and already falling apart, but still it was my shoe!
Beyond that the safari was good, we saw all of the big 5 which was extremely lucky and our driver was just fabulous and just as annoyed at our being paired up with these families that refused to speak to us as we were.
Towards the end of the trip we were able to hook up with some older kids from Nairobi at dinner and taught them to play spoons which was really entertaining, even to the people just watching.
Our last morning was peaceful as it was an early morning safari and optional so it was just mom and I with the father of one of the families.... until we got stuck. VERY STUCK. We spun tires for a while and a few safari vehicle came and took pictures of us because apparently we fit right in with the wildlife? I'm not sure.
Anyway, we got to beebop in a few different vehicles until ours got unstuck so we met some french people and then hopped on a giant party bus with people from all over that was pretty cool and a nice break from our other safari company.

Kisumu
More traveling! My Mom has become an honorary volunteer at this point. We dealt with several terrible and very long matatu rides and I think I complained more than she did, probably because she grew up with six siblings at the beach in a station wagon lots of sand and bathing suits... you get the jist (especially if you're one of the 6, Hi Heberts!).
After arriving in Kisumu we hit up Laughing Buddha and we had the famous sizzling brownie which in America is probably nothing special but here its like Christmas on a freakin plate, yo!
The following morning Ryan met up with us again and we did the Impala park which was FABULOUS! I've never been before but it turned out to be like a really low security zoo. After bribing some of the staff (story to follow) we got to pet a cheetah!
Now by bribing I mean here's the conversation
Zoo man: Hello
Me: Hello, I want to pet a baby cheetah
Zoo man: Well thats the baby, it's pretty grown now
Ryan: Can we still pet it?
Zoo man: Let me confirm
(Zoo man leaves, all 3 white people have a fit over the possibility of petting a cheetah)
(Zoo man returns)
Zoo man: Yes its ok, you can just come
(Arrive at gate to the cage)
Zoo man: Normally we accept a donation. Its not required but it's 500 ksh
Me: If that's the price then it sounds like it is required
Zoo man: Well we are volunters and we appreciate tips
Me: We are volunteers and my kids dont show up and give me 500 ksh to teach them every morning
(Discussion amongst white people as to how much we'll pay to do this)
Me: We'll pay 200 each
Zoo man: Let me confirm
(Zoo man leaves and returns and leads us through the gate)
We then walk into the gate through the cheetah display and just go pet a cheetah! They were pretty much just like giant house cats except you know, they could have eaten us.

We continued our journey and found some very unsecure monkey cages so we held hands with them and one of them tried to steal Ryan's sunglasses which was pretty entertaining.

As we hit the heat of the day we decided to do lunch and then head back out for hippo watching in the afternoon. Luckily the boat people remembered me from the last time i went and they cut us a real break on the price and they were excellent sports about dealing with our sarcasm (by ours i mean mine). I was almost successful in convincing them that Queen Victoria's actual first name was Lake and that's why they called it Lake Victoria.

Uganda!
What an excellent end to the trip! Ryan, Mom and I headed out to the border to do some white water rafting with a bunch of volunteers I've never met before. True to Peace Corps form, most of them were nuts so naturally we all got along great.
The night of our arrival they required we sign up for bunjee jumping if it was something we were interested in, so apprehensively I signed up and figured I probably had time to get out of it. NOPE! We were up bright and early ready to jump just moments before hopping on the bus and hitting the rapids. Nuts.
I'd never bunjeed before and now that I'm practically a pro I can assure you the most horrifying part is when they write your weight on your hand with a marker.
Of the 17 of us only 4 of us jumped 3 girls and 1 boy. I went 3rd and ended up being the only one that made any noise during my actual jump. In the moments leading up to the jump I was eerily calm as I watched everyone else lose their cool. It was bizarre.
When my turn to jump came here's how it went:
Me: Please tie that thing really tight around my ankles, I don't care if I can't feel them
Bunjee man: Do you want to touch the water?
Me: Uhm, no. I'm having a pretty good hair day and I'd like to keep it that way
Bunjee man: Are you going rafting?
Me: Yep!
Bunjee man: You're gonna get helmet hair later anyway
Me: Every moment counts man!
Bunjee man: is there anything in your pockets?
Me: Just my pride and self respect but I'm fully prepared to lose those
Bunjee man: Ok then, grab on to the yellow bar and shimmy to the edge of the platform
Me: This is not a bar, it's an extra piece of metal that is extremely hard to hold on to
Bunjee man: Are you going to heckle me the whole time?
Me: Yes, I'm sorry, i can't help it.
Me: My mom is here, so if I die today you guys are in BIG trouble
Bunjee man: Ok, remove your hands from the bar and give a wave to your friends
Bunjee man: Cindy? Remove your hands from the bar
Me: Ok
Bunjee man: Don't look down, it won't help
Me: It's not making it worse
Bunjee man: Ok you need to jump off the platform like a belly flop
Me: I have to JUMP? I thought I could just kind of fall off
Bunjee man: No, you need to jump. Ready?
Me: No.
Bunjee man: Ok, ready?
Me: Yes
Bunjee man: 3... 2...1 BUNJEEEEE!!!
Me: blood curdling scream
Me: My neck didn't snap!
Me: Ok, I'm down now, can I wipe my weight off my hand?!

Now knowing how smooth a fall it actually was I would do it a thousand times over. The only unnerving was not knowing if my neck would snap off, and it didn't it was really smooth sailing.... and oh yea I guess its kind of horrific to jump off into nothing, but they really attached that bunjee safety line well. They definitely listened to my recommendation because by the end while I was hanging upside all the blood rushed out of my feet and the cord cut off my circulation and my feet started shaking, and apparently to onlookers it looked like my feet were going to fall out.

I'd tell you how many rapids we went through but I don't remember. I will tell you that the first rapid we went through I was at the back of the boat and all this water came rushing into the boat and I felt myself be ripped from the boat.... and then felt myself flailing like a mad woman on top of my mother and then I was in the water, swallowing lots of good ole Nile water. Finally reaching the surface and catching my breath I found the boat and looked in to see how many other people had been taken hostage by the rough seas.... uh... no on. Just me. I felt overwhelming gracefully as my 7 other teammates pulled me into the boat asking what the hell happened and how I ended up out of the boat on the other side. I have no actual excuse for this but I blame our boat guide who I think was trying to flip our raft but actually just ejected me out of it, there is no other explanation.
Our 2nd rapid was slightly more violent than the first and the entire raft flipped over. Now, the object of the game is when the raft flips to hold onto this rope on the outside of the boat, however, the way my brain works is "I've hit water, I must let go of everything except my paddle, it will save me!" So when I felt air on my face I looked around to find lots of little red helmets (I assume with bodies attached) floating all around and my boat several yards away in the middle of the rapid. Looking around I did find a teammate and being smart I told her to grab onto my paddle so we could you know, die together, she obliged.
Conveniently they have ridiculously strong Ugandans floating around in trick kayaks which just look like mini kayaks that are there to save you from drowning. One of them found the two of us and instructed us "one get on front one get on back." By "get on" he does not mean get in the kayak, he means hang on to the front and back (which we had been taught to do in the tutorial prior to starting). So, very ladylike I am holding on to the front of a kayak with my feet wrapped around the top of it looking at the kayak man as he says "hold on, we'll go through another rapid." Being an intelligent person I refused to do this. Being a not so intelligent person, I had no choice, so straddling a kayak taking desperate gasps for air everytime I felt it on my face I braved the rapid, which ended up being pretty small, and pretty exciting to go through hanging on to the front of a kayak.
We eventually ended up back in the boat and didn't flip anymore for the remainder of the day. Overall I'd say it was a success.

Sega and a Farwell
We finally returned to Sega to meet a few of my kids and just see what my life is like here. Turns out my life was like making a ton of banana chocolate pancake batter and then running out of gas and none of the surrounding towns having any. It was relaxing to just be back home in my own bed and see Viper again.
A few short days later I said my goodbyes as Mom left from the Kisumu airport. Although it will be less time between when she left this time and when I see her again than the 15 months we were apart before it didn't make it any easier to say goodbye. There's something comforting about having a parent around, especially when they give you clothes and cookies and stuff! Honestly, it was a joy to have her here and share a big part of my life with her. I tried to get her to stay but I guess she doesn't love me enough (KIDDING).

And back to my life again
School is now underway. We are now 4 classes and 3 teachers which surprisingly leaves me with a very smiliar schedule to what I had before but now I'm teaching classes 1, 2 and 3 which is really great and I feel generally happier and more fulfilled when i leave for the day.
We have officially entered the dry season and it's pretty much just hot dusty and kind of miserable, but it's my last dry season here so I'm making the best of it.... by praying for it to be over. I will mention, when it is over I'll be almost at the end of my service and wishing i hadn't wished my time away but itsn't that just the way it always goes?

Safety
I'm not positive how much news reaches the U.S. and my family and friends at home, but I know some leaks through because sometimes I catch the articles. There is a lot happening here as far as safety is concerned but there haven't been any security issues in my area of the country and my dog is a total bad ass. For all that are concerned Peace Corps is on it and we are following strict safety measures. Doesn't that make you feel better? :-) Really though, I'm safe where I am.

Special shout outs!
To Aunt Kathy: I handed out lots of new pencils today and the kids and teachers were thrilled! We don't have to wait for kids to share pencils to finish their assignments anymore, Thank you!!!!
To Aunt Janice: As always for sending cards and adding a little more decoration to my house each week. It never fails when a volunteer comes in my house for the first time they always say "wow, you have a TON of cards, people must really love you"
To Mom: Thanks for coming to visit! and thanks for leaving me stuff! and thanks for being a good parent and not a real whack job!
To Niki: Woman! I don't think one holiday has gone by that I haven't been able to decorate for thanks to you! It's wonderful and it makes me very anxious to hang with you when I get back!
To Bev: Thanks for also still sending stuff! Alot of things I clip out of your clippings and hang around my house or use for bookmarks and such!

And to all of my other readers however many or few you are, thanks for reading and thanks for your patience on this one and sorry I used the word shit twice (... well thats three now)

Hope everyone had a great holiday! See you next Christmas!

Just another day in paradise

Hello all!

So I've decided to try and avoid getting so back logged on my blog... blog-logged if you will. I'm going to jot down things I'd like to include in it, add to it through the week and try to post on Fridays.

This way I don't forget about all the smalls things that I don't mention once I wait a month to update everyone! It's a win win and I'm going to give it my best effort!

Cindy Cow

This giant pregnant cow has been grazing all over the church compound for several months, she literally would take up my entire house if I could fit her through the door.... or my window, once she tried to eat my curtain through the window.

Last week she gave birth to two beautiful calves (which will eventually grow older and be ugly normal cows, but for now they're REALLY cute), one boy and one girl. I have been informed that the female has been named Cindy. I now refer to her as Cindy cow so people don't think I'm referring to myself in the third person when I talk about how much weight she's gained.

I had the pleasure of meeting her about 16 hours after birth, that's right, she still had birth gunk on her rump!

I'm her namesake indeed. She is extremely stubborn and loves to eat.... she got a hold of my skirt, which I'm glad to say survived.

Since then, I have spotted the man that cares for the livestock have to physically pick up Cindy cow and move her to where he wants her to go because she simply won't go somewhere just because someone smacks her rear and yells a little. When I see this man struggle to carry this calf, first I smile, because it's just delightful, then I think, I wonder how much longer he's gonna be able to carry that cow. Finally, I wonder, how does he still have all his clothes? I met her for ten minutes and if she'd had her way I'd a left that place naked.

Word Seepage

Although I will be the first to tell you.... scratch that the first to tell you would be my Kiswhaili tutor, I'd be the second to tell you I am not fluent in Kiswahili, or the local language here. Even though I am not fluent doesn't mean that some things don't just seep into my normal conversations anyway. When I write emails or talk to people from home I analyze almost every sentence before it comes out to make sure it doesn't contain Swahili or some other interesting lanugage mannerism i've picked up since being here. These things most often include the word “pole” which means sorry and truly covers the whole spectrum of things from tripping on a rock to the death of a loved one or spilling your milk. It's a great word and eliminates any feelings of awkwardness or inferiority when faced with a situation where you just don't know what to say because you can't relate.

Another thing, I hadn't even picked up on until one of our new trainees realized it is ending almost every sentence or question with “yea?” When he said this we happened to be eating breakfast and quite honestly I kind of blew him off and thought, “i've never heard myself do that.”

…. fast forward about 8 seconds.... I turn to a fellow volunteer, “So it was just the math science people that met for that yea?”

As soon as the word flopped out of my mouth everyone realized how often we say it without even realizing. My current theory is that we are misunderstood so many times that we want to check for understanding or at least make sure a person realizes a question has been posed. Since then I've realized sometimes I give them both options, I'll pose a question and end with “yea or no?”

This is a very limited list of the words that have “slowly by slowly” oozed into my normal speaking patterns and I know I won't even pick up on most of it until I'm back in America saying things like “even me!” or “I'll just pick it later.”

Future Careers

Due to the way our school schedule is set up it allows me quite a bit of free time which I suppose is a blessing and a curse. Based on things I do in my free time and things I do during my school day I believe I would be able to move very laterally and smoothly into the following careers, mind you these are in no special order:

Movie critic

Food critic

Some type of warden at the loony bin

Some type of resident at the loony bin

Bouncer

Corrections officer

Body double

Secret Agent

Designer of skirts that never come higher than two inches below the knee

Dead body day

Okay, maybe not the most diplomatic way to word that, but I found it the most entertaining. Living in a big town has its perks... as i've already mentioned, cereal, and also we have a mortuary. Now I haven't been to a Luo funeral as of yet but I know that they are quite an affair and I know when they come pick the bodies. Friday. The day that normal marks my weekend and puts a smile on my face because I have time to clean and cook good food... on my way home from grabbing groceries or sometime during the school day or even when I'm just at home I can hear them coming. Usually it is one or two vehicles full of the men and women that cared about the deceased blaring music, singing, and beating tamborines to no specific rhythm. They back their truck up into the mortuary (We have a sign coming into to town boasting “Sega Mortuary with freezer”) and retrieve the body. During the process, onlookers crowd the street to watch the transfer until it's complete or until they grow bored and go home. The truck with its singers and professional tambourinists then leaves and carries the body to it's eternal resting place.... actually I think it makes several stops first.

Character Synopsis

I realized I've been here a year and very rarely mentioned the people that play a daily role in my life here. Therefore, I've decided to include a character synopsis each week.

Juma

Juma is the cook on our church compound... the cook and so much more. I don't know his job title but he does pretty much everything. He is also more than willing to help me with anything that I need or answer any questions that I have. Also, he brings food to Viper every night. This man is always smiling and always in a good mood and making jokes. I am more than appreciative to have him here because he's the last person I see in my day and he is just so friendly and can usually say something ridiculous enough to make me laugh. He also finds the saga of Cindy vs. goose extremely entertaining. I'm not sure if this story has been told but in the first few months I was here, this is an exact conversation I had with him:

“Juma, that goose is evil and it hates me. I named it Satan.”

“The goose? It doesn't like you?”

“No, it chases me. I think you should kill it and feed it to the priest for dinner.”

“I can't kill it. It's here for security.”

“I thought that's what we had all the dogs for..”

“Yes, but the goose is meaner than any of the dogs.”

Enjoy your weekend and Happy Thanksgiving!

Scrambled Eggs

I worked on a blog several weeks ago and never posted it so here it is, followed by my new blog. It's been a long time this time.

I remember being a kid. People would say, “I wish I could bottle that energy” or, “If I had even half that amount of energy.” I thought that energy would last forever, as if it were some gift that only I was blessed with. I was wrong. Dead wrong. I find myself wishing I had as much energy as my students... or even half as much... dare I say i'd like to bottle it! What's next? “Because I said so.” I know it's coming.

Shoes... not so helpful

So, several months ago I broke my sandals playing with the kids and began wearing my beaded flip flops. In an intense unit wide soccer game I broke my flip flops too.... worth it (my team won).

I went hiking with a few fellow volunteers 2 Sundays ago. It was a good time but regrettably I fell like 6 times. Tennis shoe traction isn't all its cracked up to be I guess.

On the bright side, all my shoes are fixed now. Thank you, Kenya for being able to fix ANYTHING.

Monsoon run

I went running with Viper a few days ago and left about a half an hour later than usual but thought it would be fine since I didn't see any sign of rain. Well.... about a half mile from home it started to drizzle a bit but I didn't sweat it because normally it drizzles for a while before the real rain comes. Well.... it didn't. It drizzled for about 3 minutes before just letting it's bottom out. For half a mile Viper and I ran through torrential downpours and returned home soaked to the bone. I literally had to ring out everything I was wearing when I got home. I was pretty okay with it but Viper was a total diva about it. She kept shaking off and making this whining noise. She tried to run underneath of bushes to shelter herself from the rain. Since my Ipod did not get water damage, i'd say it was an amusing and kind of fun experience except the rain pelting against my face and eyeballs didn't feel good and my shoes took days to dry. In the spirit of optimism 2 days later I left almost an hour earlier for a run with Viper ad we not only got hit with rain but with hale.... It's hard to escape this type of preciptation when you're in the middle of nowhere miles from any kind of shelter. Ow.

Exciting new things.

1)There is a new flavor of Sunlight washing powder, mixed berry. I bought it!

2. A new sponge
3. Different brand of soy chunks... a lot better!
4. Chicken flavoring powder is now sold in my banking town except going all the way to Kisumu

Overall, yay for all these things.

Random tid bits:

The man at the post office is out to get me

The right burner on my stove doesn't work. Hasn't worked for months. I tried to fix it several times, by fix I mean set myself on FIRE.

My sheets will never ever be clean.

I will punish any future children of mine by making them wash their sheets in a bucket.

I make a to do list everyday and maybe 1/3 of it gets done.

I feel like all I ever do is dishes.

On to new things:

Out of the closet fan

I've always been a fan of Celine Dion... a lot of people probably don't know this about me, but it's oh so true. In America you are kind of a disgrace to admitting to Celine Dion fanhood. Things are different in Kenya, they worship her here and it's thrilling. I am very out loud about my love for Celine Dion.

When I was in college and would drive home I used to turn on a Celine Dion CD at the Bay Bridge and then I would get home just before the CD would end. Now everytime I hear one of her songs I am reminded of being on my way home and the bridge I've crossed oh so many times and the convenience of driving my own car. I love Celine Dion. Judge me if you dare.

The power of scrambled eggs and toast

As far back as I can remember I had scrambled eggs and toast everytime I was sick. My mom made the best scrambled eggs they were fluffy and buttery and filled with love and pity for her sick child. Anytime I've been any kind of sick here in Kenya (including being home sick) I make scrambled eggs and toast.... still works like a charm.

Matatu Anatomy

I know i've mentioned matatus a few times and any volunteer in Kenya can probably tell you hundreds of matatu related stories. For my next story to make sense however you'll need to know the basics of these matatus. First of all, they are different everywhere you go but here in Nyanza and Western provinces we are known or overfilling them to the point where people are hanging off on the outside which is such a common site that it doesn't even phase me anymore. Generally speaking though, in my area our matatus have the two seats next to the driver and then seperated by a bar is the first row of 3 seats followed by another row of 3 split so there is an aisle to get to the seats behind. The one seat closest to the door is generally off limits because that is where the tout/conductor/the man that snaps his fingers at you for money sits. If you are lucky enough to be sitting in the aisle sometimes they'll give you a board to lay across the two actual seats you sit between to rest your tooshy on, if there is no board you just spread your butt cheeks as far as you an in order to have a part of each one on a part of the seats you sit between. Pleasant. The very back where you lift up what Americans would call a trunk is referred to as the “boot.”

This past weekend I had the pleasure of travelling to a fellow PCV's site for a student's camp to spread our knowledge about various topics. On my travel back I was on a matatu that was what we refer to as a shuttle, this means it has the first row of 3 seats and then the second row of the seats is uninterrupted but the seat closest to the window lifts forward to allow access to the last row of 3 seats. I was lucky enough to be seated as the 4^th person in this back row of 3 seats. Once we started moving I realized the tout was nowhere to be found. Odd. Maybe the driver would be collecting our money once we reached our destination? I leaned forward and rested my eyes for a few minutes when I heard a tap on the ceiling... usually a sign it was someone's stop and they wish to alight. I looked around and realized the person who had tapped the ceiling was indeed the tout who had apparently been lying down in the boot of the shuttle the whole time and I just never realized.

School

So our term is coming to a close. This week I'm off everyday but Friday so the class 8 students can take their KCPE. Next week we will have exams and call it the end of a school year.

I hear a lot of people say they feel like they aren't making a difference or they aren't really needed but I can truly say that in one way or another all of my students have improved since the day I met them. This doesn't mean all of them will be passing this year, but even behaviorly they have come a long way.

I can't believe I've finished an entire school year. It blows my mind that this time next year i'll be packing my bags and saying my goodbyes. It's going to come faster than I realize I'm sure of it. Whatever happens I can say I will never regret being here and when I leave I will always miss it. I will undoubtedly leave a piece of my heart in this house and with those kids.

It's also an interesting thought to say this will be my last Christmas in Kenya. Once we get past Thanksgiving I will have only one more of each holiday in Kenya and when I think of it that way it doesn't seem that long at all.

As I write this....

I used to have this wonderful wicker chair. I loved it and sat in it outside to do work and just relax. Viper also loved this chair.... so much so that she sat in it enough that her evil talon like claws wrecked it completely and it is now missing all the wicker where my butt would be. At the moment I have a cushion from another chair in my house on it.... however I've just realized the back part is just as broken as the butt part. Tragic. My butt hurts.

CORNFLAKES

The major supermarket here in Sega is called “Mamalizz.” Mama Lizz and I have been on good terms since I arrived in Sega. I am always welcome in her store and greeted by her and everyone on staff by my name which is nice. Mama lizz has been expanding her store and has recently been getting in some exciting new products. Within the past few months I've seen the addition of red bull, powder deodorant, chocolate bars, and now that's right CORNFLAKES. I HAVE CEREAL.

The cornflakes just showed up yesterday and I bought them. She asked if I liked them and since it's some weird Kenyan brand I told her I didn't know but I would try them. I was in town today again so I dropped in just to pick up a few unnecessary items and mentioned how nice the cornflakes are. Mama Lizz proceeded to tell me she just wanted to see if she could sell them but if I'm buying them she will keep them in stock.

I've told various people, I think she keeps track of what I buy and for several items in her store, I think I might be the only person in town that buys them... after today however, I may be wrong. One other person in town bought a box of cornflakes.

Any way you slice it, I'm thrilled at her expanding, I'm needing less and less things from the city... and have now gotten to the point where there is almost nothing I can't get in her store... except for white person hair products, none of that YET.

That's all for now, I hope everyone at home is doing well and I am going to make a conscious effort to blog more, especially since my internet has become more stable.

Mbwa kai and my new fear

“mbwa kali” is the sign you'd post if you had a dog like.... well like viper. Most people in town are aware of her reputation and steer clear. We were walking through a pack of school kids yesterday and it was like watching the red sea be parted. That being said, the other animals refuse to give her such a wide berth. She taunts them and be it a cow, a goat, or another dog if they take her down, I’ll go down with her. Though I do not look forward to this event, I know its what my future holds.

As part owner of this delightful creature you'd think I’d be used to her but I’m not. The other night when they brought her food I was going to open the gate and she literally ran right into my legs. I fell. I fell HARD. I actually thought I may have fractured my elbow but in reality I probably just landed hard right on a nerve. How do I now this? I have 20 doctors at my disposal...

My refusal to believe science teachers are not doctors

My apparent requirement for medical professionals is that they have some science background. No matter what category medical issue I have, I decided which volunteer (if they were a doctor) has that specialty and give em a ring and expect a diagnosis. Usually I call Ryan because she worked at an animal hospital. QUALIFIED! If you can surgerize a dog you can certainly diagnose my symptoms over the phone. Yes, several people have expressed to me that just because they teach science it doesn't mean they know medicine. They're lying. I keep calling.

Strike off

As some of you know, Kenya’s teachers went on strike for the first week of the term. I thought that meant I’d get stuff done. I was wrong. I accomplished approximately nothing. We;re officially back now but as far as my class is concerned we won't resume classes until next week when I have all my rugrats show up. I have a new discipline chart for this term that I have high hopes for, I’ll let you know how badly it crashes and burns.

Fair price

Going to town is not normally the highlight of my day. There's always kids being rude and lets not get into the issue of the blazing equatorial sun. But! The other day I was there with my new market lady and she gave me everything for local price AND gave me two free limes y’all! I love her. Seriously. I almost cried.

Kenya's Alaska

we have a volunteer from Alaska and I went to her site in the Rift Valley for a week of language training. I didn't know Kenya could get so cold. I froze... the whole week. Do you know how bizarre it is to be able to see your breath in Africa? Really bizarre.

A heartfelt farewell

It's hard to imagine or explain being such close friends with people I haven't even known a year yet. I feel like I’ve known some of these people my entire life. Some argue seeing other volunteers helps them keep a grip on their sanity. Seeing other volunteers helps me cling to my insanity which is exponentially more important in my eyes. Anyway, when they leave it sucks. A good friend of mine left last week and I’m jealous America gets to have him now. Without this kid I’m not entirely sure I would have survived training. Anyway, to Karl: you'll be sorely missed by all. See you on the other side.

A few quick thoughts:

• the other day I was almost done hanging my laundry and the entire line snapped in two dragging all my clothes into the dirt.
• I took Viper to the lake to rinse off and when she got out she was at least twice as filthy as when she got it.
• Did I tell you a red pen exploded on my bed? My sheets look like a crime scene.
• Lime makes everything better
• I think my students consider gym class to be punishment for something. It's funny.

Thanks for reading!

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Hello All! I'd like to start by wishing my Mom a Happy Birthday! Sorry I'm gonna miss this one.

I'm sure you're all just on the edge of your seats to hear about my vacation. Buckle up! This will probably be one of the longest blogs yet!

So in a very serious attempt to save limited vacation days I chose to fly from my side of the country out to the coast to meet my visitors from America. It was a very nerve-wracking trip as I've never really had to navigate any Kenyan airports. I survived though. I arrived way before I needed to at the Kisumu airport which is approximately the size of my gynecologist's office and waited patiently before it was time to walk out about the distance of a football field to board the aircraft. I will say, the Kenyan flight attendants give the most accurate demonstration of flotation devices and such, so I appreciated that.

In true Kenyan style, we left late which means we arrived late. Originally I had a 40 minute layover in Nairobi before my flight to the coast to pick up my checked backpack because the airport staff in Kisumu didn't think the bag would make it on to my next flight in time. When we landed I was 15 minutes into the boarding of my next flight. I anxiously tapped my foot on the floor to will my backpack to show up on the carousel and once it finally did I grabbed it and ran like a maniac and immediately boarded my next flight.

Once I arrived in Mombasa I had about an hour before the other flight got in so I sat down and had a sandwich and admittedly went to the bathroom and primped so people wouldn't know I came straight out of the village (not sure it worked, but the effort was there).

Their flight was delayed. Big surprise.

After about 2 hours their flight landed and I was the first person lined up outside the international arrivals door as people flooded past one by one reuniting with family and friends. I continued to wait as the flow of people came to a slow trickle, convinced every person coming through the door was there to see me, but none of them were. The airline staff came and closed the arrivals door. I literally had no words,I just stared at the door in enough shock that it made the man ask me if there was a problem. I looked up at him and asked “Is that everyone off the plane?”

“Yes, ma'am”

“Everyone? Like, there is no one left?”

“Yes, is there a problem?”

“Yea, my friends were supposed to be on that flight”

“From Ehtiopia?”

“Yes from Ethiopia.”

“Sorry.”

AND THE MAN WALKS AWAY!

So I sat for a hot minute thinking of what to do since I have no contact information for anyone and just as I give up hope they came walking through the door. Apparently, one of them had left duty free alcohol on the aircraft and needed to go back and get it. I won't mention names.

Anyway, I brought them to one of the fancy (and by fancy I mean a total dump that is affordable to volunteers) hotels in Mombasa for the night and we toured Ft. Jesus which was pretty interesting.

The next day they got their first taste of Kenya, we ventured out with all our luggage to find a matatu to bring us to the resort they had reserved which none of us had a clue to it's actual location. Turns out there are about 80 roads that lead to this place and 2 different signs. We learned fast from our mistakes.

The resort was beautiful, but we spent most of our time out and about so they could get a feel for what Kenya is really like. We did snorkeling in Watamu and took a trip to a local town so they could try Ugali and Sukuma. We were also able to take a quick trip and visit a friend of mine in Kilifi and have dinner on the Indian Ocean. Overall, that week went by waaaay too fast. I probably could have just lived at the resort. It had a bathtub! And two bathrooms! It was wonderful and I was not too thrilled to leave.

When we did leave, we took a luxurious (and by luxurious I mean crappy) bus to Nairobi. I think in total it took us about 10 hours and a ton of music to get there. On the bright side, I haven't heard much new music from America, so Steets was nice enough to let me listen together with him on his fancy whatchamacallit that's a phone and a music player and I'm not sure what else, but I asked and it does not make belgian waffles which was a pretty big disappointment.

That night we ate a famous restaurant called Carnivore which is a lot like that brazilian place where they basically just walk around with meat on sticks and plop it on your plate. YUM! We had tons of different kinds of meat including camel, crocodile, lamb, pork, chicken, ostrich etc. Regrettably we all ate way too much but it really took it's toll on the two of us girls since neither of us were hungry when we showed up. We paid for it later. Actually, in the middle of the night Lindsay got in bed and said, “I just threw up 3 times.” In the morning we were trying to decide if she had thrown up or if she had dreamt it. Apparently, it did in fact happen because Steets checked the door and all the locks were locked by the door wasn't shut all the way.

We started the next day bright and early... earlier than planned actually. The safari was due to pick us up at our hotel at 7:30 and they called at 7:00 to tell us they were waiting outside. Lindsay and I were still moaning and groaning in bed. After shoving everything in our bags and shuffling outside we headed off for our safari!

When we arrived at Masaii Mara we had an hour to settle in to our tents and meet back for our night safari. The tents were very spacious and by very spacious I mean not spacious at all but surprisingly no one in our group complained... including me! It was basically I small army looking tent but they set up real beds in it which really cut down the space, but we were able to throw stuff under the beds.

Luckily we were teamed up with 4 real cool Canadian kids who have been volunteering here for about 6 weeks and were about to go home. By the time we left for our safari it was raining which made it really difficult for picture taking, but we did see a myriad of animals including lions! Yea, we practically stalked them.

We started our full day safari the next day and saw tons of other animals. The weather was absolutely beautiful and in total we saw all the big 5 except for the leopard. Also, since it's August we're in the midst of the Wildebeast migration so there were MILLIONS of wildebeast just hangin around all the time. We also came right up on a cheetah that was just chillin in the sun. We were about 10 feet away from it in our vehicle, apparently though, the animals are so used to the safari vehicles coming through that they just act like giant house cats... though none of us ventured out to pet it or give it kibble.

After a morning safari the next day we headed with a different group of people for a short excursion to Lake Nakuru which was absolutely beautiful. The views were just beautiful and there were monkeys all over the place. We actually witnessed a woman get bit by one which was probably the highlight of the day. Do not feed the animals. Monkeys are cute, but i'll be honest, they scare the ever loving shit out of me. They are bold, and carry rabies ya'll. I'm not taking any chances thank you, I'll keep my distance and use the zoom on my camera.

And so we started our travel back to Nairobi and before they could even leave I missed them. I begged them to stay. They declined, but did offer me a space in their giant yellow suitcase in case I wanted to escape, I declined. They also both vowed they wouldn't eat Chipotle until I got home which I thought was a very sweet gesture because misery loves company :-). Maybe it will be even harder for them since they actually have access to them? We'll see.

Anyway, we ran into a few volunteer friends of mine in Nairobi and went out for Ethiopian which turned out to be a bigger hit than I expected... thankfully.

The following day their flight went out in the afternoon, so before they left we squeezed in breakfast and a trip to the giraffe center. I got a kiss from a giraffe! I was told that was a possibility but I kind of just thought they loved humans so much they'd just lean over and kiss me, but there's actually quite a bit of bribing involved and you have to hold a pellet of their food between your lips and they grab it out with their enormous sandpaper tongues. They were soft and looked just like the one from toys r us. It was wonderful.

I left the two of them at the airport after several more failed attempts at getting them to stay and headed to the train station for my ride home.

Now. I've never taken the train before and new forms of transportation make me anxious (which won't be an issue anymore now that i've traveled by every means possible in this country) and therefore didn't really know what to expect or how long it would take. The bus takes about 9 hours so I figured the train left at 6:30 pm and we'd be there pretty early in the morning. I was wrong.

I decided to travel first class which is something I never do, but I figured it'd be a nice way to end my vacation. It took me about 20 minutes to get myself on the right part of the train in the right compartment and it's not like there's anything to do so I just kind of sat there... with the door like half open. I don't know the protocal, obviously. Anyway, the train manager came in to inform me it would be 15 hours of travel and dinner would be served at 8. Thanks. I did everything I possibly could to keep myself awake until 8 which turned into 9 which turned into me almost smacking my face into a plate of food out of exhaustion. After I made it back to my compartment and got the door locked I slept pretty well except I kept dreaming the door kept sliding open and shut because the lock didn't work (which was not true, it was pure paranoia). We also stopped at every single station between Nairobi and Kisumu which made sleeping slightly difficult but I did feel somewhat refreshed when I woke up. I was able to walk from the train to the bus station and catch the next ride to my site.

Finally, i'm home and I haven't done hardly anything. I thought I was kidding when I told my friends I was going to sleep for a week after I got back. It took me almost twice as long to get about half of my laundry done because there was so much of it. Beyond that I haven't done much that I would categorize as “productive.” Oh well.

The running water here is still non existent which is confusing considering how much it's been raining, but those 2 months of running water were wonderful while I had them. I have just about 2 weeks before school starts again and I'll be spending another week out of site for a language immersion that I'm actually pretty excited about, except for having to be away from my site... again.

Alright well if you made it through that whole thing without sleeping, congratulations and as always thanks for reading!!!

Also, thanks again to Steets and Lindsay for coming to visit, I had a great time and I'll see you at Chipotle in a year and a half!

Yep, I'm still in Kenya

Um, hey! So I am still alive! Again, i've been collecting blogs like smashed pennies and here they are, most of them are short. I've got another coast vacation coming up so stay tuned, i'll try to document this one better, I promise! Hope everyone at home is enjoying your long awaited beach time!

Bathus Interruptus

Since Viper technically belongs to the Catholic Church, the cook on the compound normally brings dinner for her between 8 and 9. I either bath before or after this hour so I can be ready when the cook comes to open the garden gate. The other day I chose to bathe early around 7:15 because we lost electricity and I didn't think we'd get it back. Once my hair was fully shampooed and my face was fully face washed, I hear Viper making her usual ruckous because the cook had arrived with her food. I threw a robe on and proudly walked out covered in soap so the dog could have his dinner. I went back to bathing in the dark and about 20 minutes later the electricity came back on.

Land ho

So our little Unit was able to buy the land we wanted! On the last day of school we took the kids on a field trip to check out their future home. It was so exciting for everyone, it was like watching dreams come true. This is such a huge step for the Deaf community in this district and I can't wait for further progress! To finally have a place to call our own I think changes everyone's attitude about things. They've told me they're going to name a dorm after me... I hope that's not true. I've heard tell of one girl who had her whole face painted on the side of a building. I'd rather not deal with either of those things.

Grey Goose

The goose and I are still not seeing eye to eye. That's all I'll say. I'm the bigger person.

African Sunset

So I have the pleasure of seeing the sunset in Africa everyday, because, let's face it... I cannot drag my butt out of bed early enough for a sunrise. Normally in the evening I take Viper out for a jog and once I get about 2 kilometers out of town we take a turn onto the path that goes around the airfield. In the distance are the most beautiful mountains being lit by the most beautiful sunset.

It's tough to be here, but everyday that something bad happens i experience at least one beautiful or awesome thing that turns it around again... just like anywhere I suppose.

Another compromised bucket

Normally after bathing I bring my bucket inside, but for whatever reason last week I left it in the bathroom. I was extremely grateful for this laziness on Thursday because it was the first time in a very long time that i've needed a toilet and a bucket at the same time. Yet another bucket compromised. P.S. i use the previously compromised bucket as a trash can now.

Shout outs!

To Aunt Janice: Thank you so much for all the cards and pictures! I love them! Some of the pictures in the last batch I was thankful for the commentary on the back because they kids have gotten so big I didn't even recognize them. Anyway, it always puts a grin on my face to open my mailbox and see a few letters from you! Thanks for still writing and keeping me updated!

To Niki: I LOVE the postcards! i think I'm going to hand the MD one in my classroom so everyone can see it. I appreciate your constant and truly entertaining letter writing. I thought my life was ridiculous. I have nothing on you.

To Bev: Thanks for all the reader's digest pages. I cut out the quotes I like and cover my bookshelf with them! Also? I've already started using the things you sent me, the tote and notepad and such!

To Mom: I miss broccoli salad, and chocolate chip cookies and hot taco dip.... and YOU of course. Thanks for all the good stuff that you can send!

To Steets: Thanks for spending a probably absurd amount of money on calling cards to listen to me talk about how insane my life is.

To my church at home: Thank you again for everything you've done for my students! Everyone here, including me is overwhelmed by your generosity. You made a difference that will last long after i'm gone.

To all my readers: Thanks, as always for still reading!!!