Some Days Are Just Legendary

Happy February to all! Another month of my service has passed and already the weeks are flying by! I thought I might be a little short on content this week but actually I got a phone call about twenty minutes ago that will change the lives of several people.... and therefore will change the content of this blog (just killed a mosquito with my bare hands). However, since it happened at the end of the week, you have to wait until the end of the blog to get there! (I know some of you will scroll down, nothing I can do about that but fair warning, curiosity killed the cat)

Mouse vs Cindy and Viper round 2 round 3 round 4 and round 5

As you all know, I love mice... oops sorry I guess I just channeled an insane person that doesn't mind the sound of rodents gnawing through things in the middle of the night and shit laced floors. After Megan left last weekend I did a fairly thorough sweep of my house to make sure there was nothing desirable to a rodent. This did not work.

Monday night I heard it. I slipped out of bed and found it hiding in its usual spot under the stove. I flipped on the light and decided I'd have a much better shot of capture or murder if I got Viper Sweet Face Chicken Killer on the case.

I opened the door and stood at the ready as I poked at it to come out from under the stove. Viper saw it, I saw it. We both went in different directions.... not as smart as I thought she was, that dog. Anyway I followed it over behind my “kitchen” shelves as Viper investigated under the stove. I found it, hiding out in a caddy that I stock pile extra food in, but just for a second my attention is diverted! Viper has knocked over my water container and I have to leap to pick it up and rescue whatever water I can from the spill. The mouse uses this as its escape! Rats!

Viper sees it and starts chasing it around the walls of my house, shoving her nose and paws into the smallest corners of my home as her butt stands high in the air with me waiting patiently behind her not sure what I'm rooting for because if she kills this thing and gets mouse blood all over my house I'm not sure I can handle it.

The mouse got away never to be seen again that night.

Every night this week I was awake in the middle of then night chasing this mouse around or at least trying to get it to stop making noise.

Last night somewhere around 3 am I heard it and it sounded amplified, why? You ask. Because it was in, on, or around my dresser. I decided to let Viper just sleep in my house which I normally don't do because my house is so small that its not fair to either of us, but these were dire circumstances. My logic was either she would kill it, or she would scare it enough to shut it up.

The problem with having a dog in your house is it sounds like having a GIANT dog size rat in your house. All night anytime she scratched herself or walked around clicking her little nails on my concrete floor or snored, it woke me up. I woke up again at 5:30 to the sound of her most definitely eating something. My first thought was, maybe she got into the dog biscuits. Second thought: What if she's eating the mouse. Third thought- If I turn this light on and there is mouse blood all over the place I will be beside myself and will either need to move or light myself on fire. Fourth thought- it sounds like she's crunching something. Fifth thought- Just suck it up and turn on the light, assess the situation and take it from there.

The light comes on. She's found a mango that I dropped on the floor earlier that night.

Today I ran on about 2 hours of sleep, I'm pretty sure to onlookers it was as if someone let a lunatic out of the insane asylum and told them to go teach some kids, hey have fun!

Mail call

I got very lucky this week with a huge shipment! Monday I received lots of goodies from my mom and a few friends from home. Needless to say, I had a stomach ache the first half of the week because giving me American food is like giving a 2 year old 60 cupcakes and just leaving the room. I'm an embarrassment.

I also got another one today! People are awesome.

Creative Art

This is a legit subject in our timetable now and the responsibility has pretty much fallen on me to come up with activities. I'm a fairly creative person, but not in the right ways for an art class so I spend a lot of time looking up arts and crafts on the internet trying to use the few materials we have. A lot of days I have them just draw things, but this week we've branched out!

Friday last week we colored some sand that we stole from the school (shhh!) and then on Monday we did sand art pictures! It was an overwhelming success and I've already hung them up in the classroom which makes the kids really proud of themselves.

I also stumbled on another do-able project this week which has made me kind of a maniac but I think the outcome will be exciting. I had all the kids trace their hands and cut them out and color them. Then we shaped them into lilies and attached them to straws. We just finished the project today and we have about 40 lily hands which I'm hoping to form into 3 bouquets for each of us teachers to keep on our desks. What will be in the vase with the flowers you ask? Good question! Leftover colored sand!

I'm pretty sure I enjoy this class more than all of the kids put together.

Tid bits- stories that are too short to have their on title but worth mentioning.

-I went to buy spaghetti noodles at the store this week. I bought two packs and as I was interacting with the cashier I looked over and realized the bag boy was frantically shoving loose spaghetti back into the open package. I asked if I could just have a new one. They gave me a new one, but I was slightly alarmed that I had to ask. Whatever, it was funny.

-One of my students stopped my class this week to let me know my hair was messed up and they would like me to stop and fix it. Cool. Fashion consultants.

-Dust and dust storms suck. Rain is awesome and I miss it.

-Things that apparently only last a year- mop, broom, waterguard (crap that tastes like pool water used for filtering water), and propane

-This week for the first time ever I used the same piece of chalk without breaking it! What a triumph!

The story of all stories

Several months ago I met a man who is originally from Kenya but is now living in the U.S. He was visiting our unit with his mother who lives in Nairobi. They mentioned how impressed they were that people had donated enough money to buy land for the school and said he wanted to help.

I haven't communicated with him a terrible amount recently mostly because we just came off of break blah blah blah.

ANYWAY! Tonight he called me and told me we will start building next week, to which I said, “we can't build anything until we pay for the physical planner and we don't have enough money for that.” He responded with

“We're paying for that, we're paying for all of it. We want you to have 3 classrooms and an office built by the end of March and we'd like to have the school built before you leave in December.”

PAUSE FOR GENERAL SHOCK AND WATERY EYES

After checking to make sure I heard him correctly about 6 times he confirmed that he, with the help of his friends and co-workers would really like to see this school built.

AMAZING

I was also able to talk to his boss who said he and his wife were willing to contribute whatever they could and they were happy to see some good happening in the world.

It's been about 2 hours since I hung up the phone with him now and I am still completely overwhelmed and in general awe.

There is a very good chance that we will be participating in sports at the end of the term under the title Sega School for the Deaf instead of Unit.

To everyone who has been involved in this project in anyway I am truly grateful and just thrilled that progress has been and is being made. Change is happening.

I hope we can have a class pet now. I hope it can be a giraffe.

Thanks for reading!

Life in the dry season.

Hello all! Happy Friday and congratulations to you and me for making it through another week! Unfortunately, this week wasn't terribly exciting until Megan's arrival on Thursday this week so that's where I'll start.....

Shopping on the face of the sun....

One of the towns nearby has a pretty sweet clothing market (or so I had heard from fellow volunteers, one of which met us there) on Thursdays so as soon as Megan arrived and I finished teaching we headed out. Unfortunately, because of the dry season it was as close to actually walking on the sun as I will ever get and less people were willing to set up camp and sell us ugly clothes so the pickins were slim but we were all lucky enough to at least purchase one item of clothing. I got two skirts, one of which looks like it was made from 60's couch cushion material... we'll see how that goes.

The BUS!

As most of you know by now there is a bus that runs down the main road that I live on and it is by far my preferred method of transportation and for the most part I plan my life around the bus schedule. On our way back to Sega once reaching the main road we realized all the matatus headed that direction were empty which generally means you can sit anywhere between 15 minutes and 2 hours waiting for it to fill up with people. This time however, we got extremely lucky and I happened to see the bus in town and my reaction was “ACACIA BUS” and bolted through town to get to it hoping Megan would follow behind, luckily she did. We discussed how absolutely lucky we were the entire ride to Sega and decided it was as close to teleportation as we could possibly get in Kenya. Success.

Flash, sizzle

My house has one electrical socket. ONE. Luckily we have available for purchase surge protectors that allow me to plug in several things at once! It's like the 20^th century!

Recently I bought this pitcher type situation that heats water and I figure it'll save me a little bit of gas if I start using it.

As I'm preparing to take a bath, I turn on the water pitcher and suddenly hear a sizzling noise.

“Did your extension cord just fry?”

Yes... yes it did. None of the outlets work on it anymore. I decide to just use the luke warm water and bathe in it.

When I come out and start trying to prepare the water for Megan we decide to go directly to the source and plug the heater into the electrical socket itself.

Megan says to me “I can't get the plug out and I don't want to break your socket.”

I try.

I try again.

Man it's really in there.

A hammer is now involved. I pry the plug out of the socket. This takes several attempts. SUCCESS!

Wrong.... one of the prongs of the plug busted free of the plug and is now stuck in the socket. It will not come out. Cool.

(Note: The situation has officially been remedied, I got a new surge protector and hired someone to replace the entire electrical socket. Mission accomplished)

Just a Frog

I lied about starting on Thursday but this story is important to the next story. Since I've been recovering from this absurdly long lasting cold I've been taking a lot of naps during the day.... which then means I don't sleep that well at night. I heard something crash in my kitchen in the middle of the night and I was sure it was a mouse. Sure of it. I waited to listen and see where it went and I heard it shuffling around near a plastic bag near my bed. Stealth style, I grabbed my flashlight and waited for another sound so I could turn it on. NOTE: If I did spot this mouse with my flashlight my plan was basically to tuck my mosquito net in tight and probably cry... I don't know what I thought I was going to accomplish. So... I heard the crumple of the bag and beam my light in the direction of the noise and realize it's just a frog which is a great relief to me and I eventually can get back to sleep.

The great mouse hunt of 2012

Thursday night Megan and I made tacos, we ended up with extra tortillas and cheese which I responsibly packed in ziploc bags to keep fresh and keep the rodents away.

At 4 a.m. I hear it! I know this sound. It is definitely the nibbling of a rodent through a ziploc bag. Again I lay in bed silently (next to a sleeping Megan) waiting to make sure I know where the sound is coming from. I know but by the time I get my flashlight on the it's gone. I lay down silently... waiting. I hear it again. Ninja style I slide out of my net and carefully pull back the curtain currently separating my “bedroom” from my “kitchen/living room/dining room” and BAM turn the light on. I hear it run.

I am a woman OBSESSED.

I proceed to shine my light in ever nook and cranny in and around the area. I find it. It's hiding out under the stove which is impossible for me to get to.

Viper makes a noise outside and it makes me scream.

This wakes Megan.

Megan makes a noise.

This also makes me scream.

Apparently i'm jumpy at 4 a.m.

I explain to Megan I have staked out the mouse and am not sure what to do about it.

We turn the lights on and start devising a plan.

One of us will poke it from behind, it will run out from the stove and the other will trap it under a sufuria (cooking pot with no handles). BRILLIANT!

(I hope you're picturing this vividly, we're in pajamas)

Megan grabs a knife (don't worry, it's the least sharp knife on the planet, I struggle to cut tomatoes)

I am standing by in my ready stance sufuria in hand sick with POWER!

Megan pokes

The mouse instead of running out from the front of the stove runs out from the side flies over the chair and disappears.

We have failed. We both screamed and I am now running in place proclaiming how much I hate mice.

After serious investigation of the house we never found it again and we didn't hear it in the kitchen again.

Rodents:1 Humans:0

Womp womp.

The Price is Right Kenya

Sometimes my brain works in mysterious ways. This is my pitch for a new reality tv show in Kenya. Just picture it! The price is right, the way it is, only with a less ridiculous host..... you guess the price of things and if you guess over, sorry there's nothing we can do for you. However, If you guess under the price we send you into the market place and you have to try and bargain for it at that price, if you are successful you get half the points for half the money or half the furniture (I obviously haven't seen this show in a while and will need to talk it over with the producers)! Congratulations!

I think it would be thrilling to watch any human haggle for the price of something to win something on a reality tv show. Think about it.

Alright, that's all I've got for you this week folks! As always, thanks for reading!!!

Keep on floor after opening

As many of you (let's face it, all of you) know there are certain stipulations for storing certain perishable items after opening: “refrigerate after opening” “store in a cool dry place” … things like this. When in America I considered these warnings very serious, as serious as ripping off a mattress tag dare I say. My new stipulation is open it and see what happens. Since moving here I've lived in a place without refrigeration or cool dry places and most things don't need them thanks to the invention of Kenyan products such as: Blue Band, no refrigeration needed “butter”, Miksi, powder milk, eggs straight from chickens, and ketchup, okay, that's American but it doesn't need to be refrigerated. Personal discoveries include: Spaghetti CAN last two days but you definitely have to boil the sauce and keeping drinks on the floor makes them slightly cooler than room temperature. This week I’ve been experimenting with how long I can get cheese to last if I store it on the floor.... so far so good, no mold and it's been about 5 days.

Sick of being sick

Last week I did not report but I was sick. Real sick. Luckily it was short lived and I was able to shake it off and go back to school the following day. Last weekend on Sunday I woke up with the tell tale symptoms of on-coming illness: sore throat and just overall crapiness. By the end of the day Sunday I was achy and feverish and there was snot EVERYWHERE. Having a cold in Kenya is one of the more bizarre things I deal with almost every time the weather changes here. I took two sick days this week, but 3 sick days in one week for two different illnesses seems extreme to me and I’m not thrilled about it. This time though, I’m certain can be blamed on the weather, which has gotten almost unbearable as far as heat is concerned. I walked through a dust storm today just to get bread.

Viper vs. Chicken

So it's Tuesday. I'm on my second sick day in a row just laying in bed trying to rest off my cold by watching a movie. I hear something going on outside, it's a real ruckus and it sounds like there's a turkey involved. My body seizes up and listens for more sounds to piece together whats going on knowing full well that if my dog has gotten at one of the Priest's prize ugly turkeys he's gonna be pissed. Deciding I need to find out what's going on I throw on my robe and run outside to see the following: German holing Viper by the collar. Viper's mouth covered in feathers. Chicken flailing in the corner of the dog pen. Me standing helpless in my robe with my hands cupped over my mouth.

The remedy the German and I decide is for me to take Viper and tie her to the pole while he goes and informs Juma of the recent happenings.

While waiting for Juma to return Viper is running around like a maniac trying to claim what is rightfully hers (so she thinks).

When Juma arrives he walks into the dog pen and stands looking at the chicken. I can't paint a picture for you as to what he sees because I do not deal well with seeing animals that are in pain, dead or dying, not my idea of a good time. Juma leaves the pen and mumbles something along the lines of “I'm not dealing with this, let her have it” I assume anyway... I didn't really hear him, but based on body language and general nonsense of the situation that's the jist.

Juma walked away and I turned to confirm with the German that I understood before I let Viper loose to claim her prize.

I returned to my house quickly, shut the door and turned the volume up on my movie so as not to hear anything that would provide me of any mental image as to what was happening out there.

Later, I decided if I just peeked into her pen I'd be able to stomach it. I didn't go in and thoroughly investigate but all I saw were feathers.

Chicken was what was for dinner.

Viper vs. Random kiddo

The day following the great chicken massacre of 2012 I ran into the priest as he was talking to a Mother and son. He called me over to inspect a child that had apparently been bitten by Viper the week prior. I knew nothing of this.

I asked how it happened because I'm the only one that takes her out of the garden and had she bitten someone on my watch I’m pretty sure I would have known about it.

Turns out, in the process of teasing Viper this child ever so intelligently stuck his foot underneath the garden gate door and Viper bit him.

I will say as a side note that yesterday after work I caught a kid throwing boulder size rocks at her through the decorative brick of our garden.

Make your own judgments.

Small town life

I ran into town today to pick up a few things at the market.... normally an enjoyable experience because everyone there knows my name. Today it was better. I was checking out at our fancy new register that then required the hiring of fancy new staff to run the register and the cashier realized they didn't have a one shilling coin and after speaking to the manager who also did not have a one shilling coin they asked me to settle for a piece of candy instead of a one shilling coin. YES. It's much easier to get rid of a piece of candy than a one shilling coin... trust me.

Other than that, I’m at the tail end of my sickness, thankfully. Next weekend a fellow volunteer will be coming to visit and I’m desperately hoping that I can break my latest habits and finally get some things done this weekend. I haven't done laundry in weeks and considered just folding my dirty laundry and putting it in my drawers and play pretend. Don't worry, I didn't.

Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

Ok, I lied.

Ok, my apologies for not actually posting every Friday, however in my defense I wasn't around a computer most Fridays. But now I have plenty of time to update you and then try again for the every Friday thing since I'll be around Sega for a while now.
I did try to attach pictures but they were taking FOREVER, so those of you that are my facebook friends you can check them out there or bug my mom to show them to you!

Model School
So I traveled out to Machakos again to help out with training. One of the most stressful weeks of training is model school where a few poor unsuspecting kids at the Deaf school are forced to stay at school an extra week and let a bunch of brand new volunteers teach them. There were four volunteers "supervising" this week while the trainees taught. All in all it turned out to be a pretty good week, all the trainees did really well and all of them ended up swearing in!
The most exciting part of the week was definitely getting to stay in the dorms in bunk beds trying to fashion round mosquito nets into something that would fit on square bunks. Oh it was a hoot! I'd like to include for anyone interested instructions for using the bathrooms in the dorms at Machakos School for the Deaf:
Step 1: Hold up your skirt or it will get wet
Step 2: Step carefully into the puddle also known as the bathroom floor.
Step 3: Turn around and go back to the dorm because you forgot to bring toilet paper
Step 4: repeat Steps 1 and 2
Step 5: Choose a stall that doesn't have shit all over the floor
Step 6: Hold the door closed with one hand and simultaneously pull down your underwear and pull up your skirt without getting it wet.
Step 7: Hold the door closed and squat over the hole in the ground, don't let ANYTHING touch the puddle on the floor.
Step 8: Try to hold your skirt off the ground while squatting and get the toilet paper out of the hand that's holding the door shut (because you forgot to put the toilet paper in the correct hand to start with, oops) without letting the door open.
Step 9: Enjoy the cold breeze blowing in under the door.
Step 10: Cleverly stand and pull up your underwear and still hold your skirt up at the same time.
Step 11: While holding skirt up to avoid the floor/puddle cautiously step out of the bathroom
Step 12: You did it! Run a victory lap!

Medical
Straight after training we hired out our very own matatu and headed in to Nairobi for our mid-service (YEA THATS RIGHT MID SERVICE!) medical checks.
You know when you go to a fancy wedding and you check into a hotel and the reception desk gives you a welome bag from the loving couple?
It was just like that but instead of a goody/welcome bag it was a bag for us to shit in. Isn't that nice?
Through the night we considered several options for getting out of giving samples including but not limited to melting/smashing chocolate bars in the containers, and swapping samples.
I'll spare you the tutorial on this, but my sample was a success. Actually our medical team was thrilled to see us with our little brown lunch bags full of our crap in the morning.
Anyway I got as clean a bill of health as possible for being me. Mostly it was a lot of sitting around talking about our crap samples and talking about what we would eat the rest of our time in Nairobi.

Ryan time!
Most of you know by now, one of my closest friends here in Kenya is Ryan who lives way up in Marsabit which is practically Ethiopia as far as I'm concerned. She got to come back to site with me and visit for a week! It was great to have her around, and since there's not a ton of exciting things to do here we taught Viper some new tricks and had several movie marathons including a Harry Potter marathon which quickly turned into watching the first 1.5 movies and then skipping to the last two. We also had a one arm movie marathon... this only included 2 movies, but hey, we did it and I thought it was worth mentioning.
At the end of our week together we traveled to Kisumu and ate delicious Indian food and then parted ways so I could go meet my MOM!

The arrival
So the plan was for my mom and I to meet in Nairobi and fly directly to Mombasa. Now the last time I tried this my visitors' flight landed like 3 hours late and I almost lost my mind. This time I ended up landing in Nairobi about 15 minutes before my mom, so I hurried to get my luggage and headed over to international arrivals to be crowded by a bunch of Brits who apparently have no respect for personal space. Of course, thanks to customs the arrivals just trickled out of the doors about 2 every 5 minutes, but eventually Mom came out and after elbowing some Brits out of my way we were finally reunited after 15 months. It was wonderful and we had plenty of time to catch our next flight to the coast.

Coast
Hot. Wow, so very very hot.
We stayed again at Sarah's house in Kilifi and did a shopping day in Malindi where we almost melted. We did dinner on the Indian Ocean and just caught up on life.
The following day we snorkeled in Kilifi which ended up being really great! We were the only people on the boat and the boat staff were great.
With great enthusiasm we left the coast with lots of souveniers and heat rash and got a night train to Nairobi.

Hell's Gate
Luckiily we had smooth travel (with the exception of all the luggage we were carrying at this point) from Nairobi to Naivasha where we planned to meet with Ryan, whose travel unfortunately was not as smooth as ours so we headed on to our campsite out near Hell''s Gate.
Upon arrival we found after lugging all our crap down this mountain that we had to go to upper camp which you guess it is UP. Luckily we were so pathetic looking at this point that one of the staff members carried two of our big bags for us to our cabin. God bless him, it was a real hike getting up that thing, but the view of Lake Naivasha was just wonderful.
Don't worry, Ryan didn't die, she arrived shortly after us, equally as exhausted.
Late to bed and early to rise we did way too much work and biked to the gorge at Hell's Gate which was beautiful. We hired a tour guide to get us through the gorge who did a great job considering our lack of skill at climbing anything. He had this fantastic walking stick and he kept throwing it in terrifying places and once the stick was thrown you had no choice you were climbing up it or down it. More than once this man actually grabbed my feet and shoved them into whatever divot in the rock they were supposed to be in but I just couldn't find.
After catching our breath we biked the 5 km out of the park where we quite luckily spotted giraffes gazelle and some very territorial zebras.
All in all one of my favorite things I've done in Kenya so far and I was thrilled that Mom was able to see it with us!

Masaii Mara
I almost don't want to write about this one. Sometimes I come across people that make me rethink almost all of my choices regarding Peace Corps.
We were paired with two Kenyan families both with young children all around the same age who made it their life's work to annoy me to the ends of the earth. My favorite part was when one of the kids kicked my shoe out the door for it to become lion food. Luckily they were cheap and already falling apart, but still it was my shoe!
Beyond that the safari was good, we saw all of the big 5 which was extremely lucky and our driver was just fabulous and just as annoyed at our being paired up with these families that refused to speak to us as we were.
Towards the end of the trip we were able to hook up with some older kids from Nairobi at dinner and taught them to play spoons which was really entertaining, even to the people just watching.
Our last morning was peaceful as it was an early morning safari and optional so it was just mom and I with the father of one of the families.... until we got stuck. VERY STUCK. We spun tires for a while and a few safari vehicle came and took pictures of us because apparently we fit right in with the wildlife? I'm not sure.
Anyway, we got to beebop in a few different vehicles until ours got unstuck so we met some french people and then hopped on a giant party bus with people from all over that was pretty cool and a nice break from our other safari company.

Kisumu
More traveling! My Mom has become an honorary volunteer at this point. We dealt with several terrible and very long matatu rides and I think I complained more than she did, probably because she grew up with six siblings at the beach in a station wagon lots of sand and bathing suits... you get the jist (especially if you're one of the 6, Hi Heberts!).
After arriving in Kisumu we hit up Laughing Buddha and we had the famous sizzling brownie which in America is probably nothing special but here its like Christmas on a freakin plate, yo!
The following morning Ryan met up with us again and we did the Impala park which was FABULOUS! I've never been before but it turned out to be like a really low security zoo. After bribing some of the staff (story to follow) we got to pet a cheetah!
Now by bribing I mean here's the conversation
Zoo man: Hello
Me: Hello, I want to pet a baby cheetah
Zoo man: Well thats the baby, it's pretty grown now
Ryan: Can we still pet it?
Zoo man: Let me confirm
(Zoo man leaves, all 3 white people have a fit over the possibility of petting a cheetah)
(Zoo man returns)
Zoo man: Yes its ok, you can just come
(Arrive at gate to the cage)
Zoo man: Normally we accept a donation. Its not required but it's 500 ksh
Me: If that's the price then it sounds like it is required
Zoo man: Well we are volunters and we appreciate tips
Me: We are volunteers and my kids dont show up and give me 500 ksh to teach them every morning
(Discussion amongst white people as to how much we'll pay to do this)
Me: We'll pay 200 each
Zoo man: Let me confirm
(Zoo man leaves and returns and leads us through the gate)
We then walk into the gate through the cheetah display and just go pet a cheetah! They were pretty much just like giant house cats except you know, they could have eaten us.

We continued our journey and found some very unsecure monkey cages so we held hands with them and one of them tried to steal Ryan's sunglasses which was pretty entertaining.

As we hit the heat of the day we decided to do lunch and then head back out for hippo watching in the afternoon. Luckily the boat people remembered me from the last time i went and they cut us a real break on the price and they were excellent sports about dealing with our sarcasm (by ours i mean mine). I was almost successful in convincing them that Queen Victoria's actual first name was Lake and that's why they called it Lake Victoria.

Uganda!
What an excellent end to the trip! Ryan, Mom and I headed out to the border to do some white water rafting with a bunch of volunteers I've never met before. True to Peace Corps form, most of them were nuts so naturally we all got along great.
The night of our arrival they required we sign up for bunjee jumping if it was something we were interested in, so apprehensively I signed up and figured I probably had time to get out of it. NOPE! We were up bright and early ready to jump just moments before hopping on the bus and hitting the rapids. Nuts.
I'd never bunjeed before and now that I'm practically a pro I can assure you the most horrifying part is when they write your weight on your hand with a marker.
Of the 17 of us only 4 of us jumped 3 girls and 1 boy. I went 3rd and ended up being the only one that made any noise during my actual jump. In the moments leading up to the jump I was eerily calm as I watched everyone else lose their cool. It was bizarre.
When my turn to jump came here's how it went:
Me: Please tie that thing really tight around my ankles, I don't care if I can't feel them
Bunjee man: Do you want to touch the water?
Me: Uhm, no. I'm having a pretty good hair day and I'd like to keep it that way
Bunjee man: Are you going rafting?
Me: Yep!
Bunjee man: You're gonna get helmet hair later anyway
Me: Every moment counts man!
Bunjee man: is there anything in your pockets?
Me: Just my pride and self respect but I'm fully prepared to lose those
Bunjee man: Ok then, grab on to the yellow bar and shimmy to the edge of the platform
Me: This is not a bar, it's an extra piece of metal that is extremely hard to hold on to
Bunjee man: Are you going to heckle me the whole time?
Me: Yes, I'm sorry, i can't help it.
Me: My mom is here, so if I die today you guys are in BIG trouble
Bunjee man: Ok, remove your hands from the bar and give a wave to your friends
Bunjee man: Cindy? Remove your hands from the bar
Me: Ok
Bunjee man: Don't look down, it won't help
Me: It's not making it worse
Bunjee man: Ok you need to jump off the platform like a belly flop
Me: I have to JUMP? I thought I could just kind of fall off
Bunjee man: No, you need to jump. Ready?
Me: No.
Bunjee man: Ok, ready?
Me: Yes
Bunjee man: 3... 2...1 BUNJEEEEE!!!
Me: blood curdling scream
Me: My neck didn't snap!
Me: Ok, I'm down now, can I wipe my weight off my hand?!

Now knowing how smooth a fall it actually was I would do it a thousand times over. The only unnerving was not knowing if my neck would snap off, and it didn't it was really smooth sailing.... and oh yea I guess its kind of horrific to jump off into nothing, but they really attached that bunjee safety line well. They definitely listened to my recommendation because by the end while I was hanging upside all the blood rushed out of my feet and the cord cut off my circulation and my feet started shaking, and apparently to onlookers it looked like my feet were going to fall out.

I'd tell you how many rapids we went through but I don't remember. I will tell you that the first rapid we went through I was at the back of the boat and all this water came rushing into the boat and I felt myself be ripped from the boat.... and then felt myself flailing like a mad woman on top of my mother and then I was in the water, swallowing lots of good ole Nile water. Finally reaching the surface and catching my breath I found the boat and looked in to see how many other people had been taken hostage by the rough seas.... uh... no on. Just me. I felt overwhelming gracefully as my 7 other teammates pulled me into the boat asking what the hell happened and how I ended up out of the boat on the other side. I have no actual excuse for this but I blame our boat guide who I think was trying to flip our raft but actually just ejected me out of it, there is no other explanation.
Our 2nd rapid was slightly more violent than the first and the entire raft flipped over. Now, the object of the game is when the raft flips to hold onto this rope on the outside of the boat, however, the way my brain works is "I've hit water, I must let go of everything except my paddle, it will save me!" So when I felt air on my face I looked around to find lots of little red helmets (I assume with bodies attached) floating all around and my boat several yards away in the middle of the rapid. Looking around I did find a teammate and being smart I told her to grab onto my paddle so we could you know, die together, she obliged.
Conveniently they have ridiculously strong Ugandans floating around in trick kayaks which just look like mini kayaks that are there to save you from drowning. One of them found the two of us and instructed us "one get on front one get on back." By "get on" he does not mean get in the kayak, he means hang on to the front and back (which we had been taught to do in the tutorial prior to starting). So, very ladylike I am holding on to the front of a kayak with my feet wrapped around the top of it looking at the kayak man as he says "hold on, we'll go through another rapid." Being an intelligent person I refused to do this. Being a not so intelligent person, I had no choice, so straddling a kayak taking desperate gasps for air everytime I felt it on my face I braved the rapid, which ended up being pretty small, and pretty exciting to go through hanging on to the front of a kayak.
We eventually ended up back in the boat and didn't flip anymore for the remainder of the day. Overall I'd say it was a success.

Sega and a Farwell
We finally returned to Sega to meet a few of my kids and just see what my life is like here. Turns out my life was like making a ton of banana chocolate pancake batter and then running out of gas and none of the surrounding towns having any. It was relaxing to just be back home in my own bed and see Viper again.
A few short days later I said my goodbyes as Mom left from the Kisumu airport. Although it will be less time between when she left this time and when I see her again than the 15 months we were apart before it didn't make it any easier to say goodbye. There's something comforting about having a parent around, especially when they give you clothes and cookies and stuff! Honestly, it was a joy to have her here and share a big part of my life with her. I tried to get her to stay but I guess she doesn't love me enough (KIDDING).

And back to my life again
School is now underway. We are now 4 classes and 3 teachers which surprisingly leaves me with a very smiliar schedule to what I had before but now I'm teaching classes 1, 2 and 3 which is really great and I feel generally happier and more fulfilled when i leave for the day.
We have officially entered the dry season and it's pretty much just hot dusty and kind of miserable, but it's my last dry season here so I'm making the best of it.... by praying for it to be over. I will mention, when it is over I'll be almost at the end of my service and wishing i hadn't wished my time away but itsn't that just the way it always goes?

Safety
I'm not positive how much news reaches the U.S. and my family and friends at home, but I know some leaks through because sometimes I catch the articles. There is a lot happening here as far as safety is concerned but there haven't been any security issues in my area of the country and my dog is a total bad ass. For all that are concerned Peace Corps is on it and we are following strict safety measures. Doesn't that make you feel better? :-) Really though, I'm safe where I am.

Special shout outs!
To Aunt Kathy: I handed out lots of new pencils today and the kids and teachers were thrilled! We don't have to wait for kids to share pencils to finish their assignments anymore, Thank you!!!!
To Aunt Janice: As always for sending cards and adding a little more decoration to my house each week. It never fails when a volunteer comes in my house for the first time they always say "wow, you have a TON of cards, people must really love you"
To Mom: Thanks for coming to visit! and thanks for leaving me stuff! and thanks for being a good parent and not a real whack job!
To Niki: Woman! I don't think one holiday has gone by that I haven't been able to decorate for thanks to you! It's wonderful and it makes me very anxious to hang with you when I get back!
To Bev: Thanks for also still sending stuff! Alot of things I clip out of your clippings and hang around my house or use for bookmarks and such!

And to all of my other readers however many or few you are, thanks for reading and thanks for your patience on this one and sorry I used the word shit twice (... well thats three now)

Hope everyone had a great holiday! See you next Christmas!

Just another day in paradise

Hello all!

So I've decided to try and avoid getting so back logged on my blog... blog-logged if you will. I'm going to jot down things I'd like to include in it, add to it through the week and try to post on Fridays.

This way I don't forget about all the smalls things that I don't mention once I wait a month to update everyone! It's a win win and I'm going to give it my best effort!

Cindy Cow

This giant pregnant cow has been grazing all over the church compound for several months, she literally would take up my entire house if I could fit her through the door.... or my window, once she tried to eat my curtain through the window.

Last week she gave birth to two beautiful calves (which will eventually grow older and be ugly normal cows, but for now they're REALLY cute), one boy and one girl. I have been informed that the female has been named Cindy. I now refer to her as Cindy cow so people don't think I'm referring to myself in the third person when I talk about how much weight she's gained.

I had the pleasure of meeting her about 16 hours after birth, that's right, she still had birth gunk on her rump!

I'm her namesake indeed. She is extremely stubborn and loves to eat.... she got a hold of my skirt, which I'm glad to say survived.

Since then, I have spotted the man that cares for the livestock have to physically pick up Cindy cow and move her to where he wants her to go because she simply won't go somewhere just because someone smacks her rear and yells a little. When I see this man struggle to carry this calf, first I smile, because it's just delightful, then I think, I wonder how much longer he's gonna be able to carry that cow. Finally, I wonder, how does he still have all his clothes? I met her for ten minutes and if she'd had her way I'd a left that place naked.

Word Seepage

Although I will be the first to tell you.... scratch that the first to tell you would be my Kiswhaili tutor, I'd be the second to tell you I am not fluent in Kiswahili, or the local language here. Even though I am not fluent doesn't mean that some things don't just seep into my normal conversations anyway. When I write emails or talk to people from home I analyze almost every sentence before it comes out to make sure it doesn't contain Swahili or some other interesting lanugage mannerism i've picked up since being here. These things most often include the word “pole” which means sorry and truly covers the whole spectrum of things from tripping on a rock to the death of a loved one or spilling your milk. It's a great word and eliminates any feelings of awkwardness or inferiority when faced with a situation where you just don't know what to say because you can't relate.

Another thing, I hadn't even picked up on until one of our new trainees realized it is ending almost every sentence or question with “yea?” When he said this we happened to be eating breakfast and quite honestly I kind of blew him off and thought, “i've never heard myself do that.”

…. fast forward about 8 seconds.... I turn to a fellow volunteer, “So it was just the math science people that met for that yea?”

As soon as the word flopped out of my mouth everyone realized how often we say it without even realizing. My current theory is that we are misunderstood so many times that we want to check for understanding or at least make sure a person realizes a question has been posed. Since then I've realized sometimes I give them both options, I'll pose a question and end with “yea or no?”

This is a very limited list of the words that have “slowly by slowly” oozed into my normal speaking patterns and I know I won't even pick up on most of it until I'm back in America saying things like “even me!” or “I'll just pick it later.”

Future Careers

Due to the way our school schedule is set up it allows me quite a bit of free time which I suppose is a blessing and a curse. Based on things I do in my free time and things I do during my school day I believe I would be able to move very laterally and smoothly into the following careers, mind you these are in no special order:

Movie critic

Food critic

Some type of warden at the loony bin

Some type of resident at the loony bin

Bouncer

Corrections officer

Body double

Secret Agent

Designer of skirts that never come higher than two inches below the knee

Dead body day

Okay, maybe not the most diplomatic way to word that, but I found it the most entertaining. Living in a big town has its perks... as i've already mentioned, cereal, and also we have a mortuary. Now I haven't been to a Luo funeral as of yet but I know that they are quite an affair and I know when they come pick the bodies. Friday. The day that normal marks my weekend and puts a smile on my face because I have time to clean and cook good food... on my way home from grabbing groceries or sometime during the school day or even when I'm just at home I can hear them coming. Usually it is one or two vehicles full of the men and women that cared about the deceased blaring music, singing, and beating tamborines to no specific rhythm. They back their truck up into the mortuary (We have a sign coming into to town boasting “Sega Mortuary with freezer”) and retrieve the body. During the process, onlookers crowd the street to watch the transfer until it's complete or until they grow bored and go home. The truck with its singers and professional tambourinists then leaves and carries the body to it's eternal resting place.... actually I think it makes several stops first.

Character Synopsis

I realized I've been here a year and very rarely mentioned the people that play a daily role in my life here. Therefore, I've decided to include a character synopsis each week.

Juma

Juma is the cook on our church compound... the cook and so much more. I don't know his job title but he does pretty much everything. He is also more than willing to help me with anything that I need or answer any questions that I have. Also, he brings food to Viper every night. This man is always smiling and always in a good mood and making jokes. I am more than appreciative to have him here because he's the last person I see in my day and he is just so friendly and can usually say something ridiculous enough to make me laugh. He also finds the saga of Cindy vs. goose extremely entertaining. I'm not sure if this story has been told but in the first few months I was here, this is an exact conversation I had with him:

“Juma, that goose is evil and it hates me. I named it Satan.”

“The goose? It doesn't like you?”

“No, it chases me. I think you should kill it and feed it to the priest for dinner.”

“I can't kill it. It's here for security.”

“I thought that's what we had all the dogs for..”

“Yes, but the goose is meaner than any of the dogs.”

Enjoy your weekend and Happy Thanksgiving!

Scrambled Eggs

I worked on a blog several weeks ago and never posted it so here it is, followed by my new blog. It's been a long time this time.

I remember being a kid. People would say, “I wish I could bottle that energy” or, “If I had even half that amount of energy.” I thought that energy would last forever, as if it were some gift that only I was blessed with. I was wrong. Dead wrong. I find myself wishing I had as much energy as my students... or even half as much... dare I say i'd like to bottle it! What's next? “Because I said so.” I know it's coming.

Shoes... not so helpful

So, several months ago I broke my sandals playing with the kids and began wearing my beaded flip flops. In an intense unit wide soccer game I broke my flip flops too.... worth it (my team won).

I went hiking with a few fellow volunteers 2 Sundays ago. It was a good time but regrettably I fell like 6 times. Tennis shoe traction isn't all its cracked up to be I guess.

On the bright side, all my shoes are fixed now. Thank you, Kenya for being able to fix ANYTHING.

Monsoon run

I went running with Viper a few days ago and left about a half an hour later than usual but thought it would be fine since I didn't see any sign of rain. Well.... about a half mile from home it started to drizzle a bit but I didn't sweat it because normally it drizzles for a while before the real rain comes. Well.... it didn't. It drizzled for about 3 minutes before just letting it's bottom out. For half a mile Viper and I ran through torrential downpours and returned home soaked to the bone. I literally had to ring out everything I was wearing when I got home. I was pretty okay with it but Viper was a total diva about it. She kept shaking off and making this whining noise. She tried to run underneath of bushes to shelter herself from the rain. Since my Ipod did not get water damage, i'd say it was an amusing and kind of fun experience except the rain pelting against my face and eyeballs didn't feel good and my shoes took days to dry. In the spirit of optimism 2 days later I left almost an hour earlier for a run with Viper ad we not only got hit with rain but with hale.... It's hard to escape this type of preciptation when you're in the middle of nowhere miles from any kind of shelter. Ow.

Exciting new things.

1)There is a new flavor of Sunlight washing powder, mixed berry. I bought it!

2. A new sponge
3. Different brand of soy chunks... a lot better!
4. Chicken flavoring powder is now sold in my banking town except going all the way to Kisumu

Overall, yay for all these things.

Random tid bits:

The man at the post office is out to get me

The right burner on my stove doesn't work. Hasn't worked for months. I tried to fix it several times, by fix I mean set myself on FIRE.

My sheets will never ever be clean.

I will punish any future children of mine by making them wash their sheets in a bucket.

I make a to do list everyday and maybe 1/3 of it gets done.

I feel like all I ever do is dishes.

On to new things:

Out of the closet fan

I've always been a fan of Celine Dion... a lot of people probably don't know this about me, but it's oh so true. In America you are kind of a disgrace to admitting to Celine Dion fanhood. Things are different in Kenya, they worship her here and it's thrilling. I am very out loud about my love for Celine Dion.

When I was in college and would drive home I used to turn on a Celine Dion CD at the Bay Bridge and then I would get home just before the CD would end. Now everytime I hear one of her songs I am reminded of being on my way home and the bridge I've crossed oh so many times and the convenience of driving my own car. I love Celine Dion. Judge me if you dare.

The power of scrambled eggs and toast

As far back as I can remember I had scrambled eggs and toast everytime I was sick. My mom made the best scrambled eggs they were fluffy and buttery and filled with love and pity for her sick child. Anytime I've been any kind of sick here in Kenya (including being home sick) I make scrambled eggs and toast.... still works like a charm.

Matatu Anatomy

I know i've mentioned matatus a few times and any volunteer in Kenya can probably tell you hundreds of matatu related stories. For my next story to make sense however you'll need to know the basics of these matatus. First of all, they are different everywhere you go but here in Nyanza and Western provinces we are known or overfilling them to the point where people are hanging off on the outside which is such a common site that it doesn't even phase me anymore. Generally speaking though, in my area our matatus have the two seats next to the driver and then seperated by a bar is the first row of 3 seats followed by another row of 3 split so there is an aisle to get to the seats behind. The one seat closest to the door is generally off limits because that is where the tout/conductor/the man that snaps his fingers at you for money sits. If you are lucky enough to be sitting in the aisle sometimes they'll give you a board to lay across the two actual seats you sit between to rest your tooshy on, if there is no board you just spread your butt cheeks as far as you an in order to have a part of each one on a part of the seats you sit between. Pleasant. The very back where you lift up what Americans would call a trunk is referred to as the “boot.”

This past weekend I had the pleasure of travelling to a fellow PCV's site for a student's camp to spread our knowledge about various topics. On my travel back I was on a matatu that was what we refer to as a shuttle, this means it has the first row of 3 seats and then the second row of the seats is uninterrupted but the seat closest to the window lifts forward to allow access to the last row of 3 seats. I was lucky enough to be seated as the 4^th person in this back row of 3 seats. Once we started moving I realized the tout was nowhere to be found. Odd. Maybe the driver would be collecting our money once we reached our destination? I leaned forward and rested my eyes for a few minutes when I heard a tap on the ceiling... usually a sign it was someone's stop and they wish to alight. I looked around and realized the person who had tapped the ceiling was indeed the tout who had apparently been lying down in the boot of the shuttle the whole time and I just never realized.

School

So our term is coming to a close. This week I'm off everyday but Friday so the class 8 students can take their KCPE. Next week we will have exams and call it the end of a school year.

I hear a lot of people say they feel like they aren't making a difference or they aren't really needed but I can truly say that in one way or another all of my students have improved since the day I met them. This doesn't mean all of them will be passing this year, but even behaviorly they have come a long way.

I can't believe I've finished an entire school year. It blows my mind that this time next year i'll be packing my bags and saying my goodbyes. It's going to come faster than I realize I'm sure of it. Whatever happens I can say I will never regret being here and when I leave I will always miss it. I will undoubtedly leave a piece of my heart in this house and with those kids.

It's also an interesting thought to say this will be my last Christmas in Kenya. Once we get past Thanksgiving I will have only one more of each holiday in Kenya and when I think of it that way it doesn't seem that long at all.

As I write this....

I used to have this wonderful wicker chair. I loved it and sat in it outside to do work and just relax. Viper also loved this chair.... so much so that she sat in it enough that her evil talon like claws wrecked it completely and it is now missing all the wicker where my butt would be. At the moment I have a cushion from another chair in my house on it.... however I've just realized the back part is just as broken as the butt part. Tragic. My butt hurts.

CORNFLAKES

The major supermarket here in Sega is called “Mamalizz.” Mama Lizz and I have been on good terms since I arrived in Sega. I am always welcome in her store and greeted by her and everyone on staff by my name which is nice. Mama lizz has been expanding her store and has recently been getting in some exciting new products. Within the past few months I've seen the addition of red bull, powder deodorant, chocolate bars, and now that's right CORNFLAKES. I HAVE CEREAL.

The cornflakes just showed up yesterday and I bought them. She asked if I liked them and since it's some weird Kenyan brand I told her I didn't know but I would try them. I was in town today again so I dropped in just to pick up a few unnecessary items and mentioned how nice the cornflakes are. Mama Lizz proceeded to tell me she just wanted to see if she could sell them but if I'm buying them she will keep them in stock.

I've told various people, I think she keeps track of what I buy and for several items in her store, I think I might be the only person in town that buys them... after today however, I may be wrong. One other person in town bought a box of cornflakes.

Any way you slice it, I'm thrilled at her expanding, I'm needing less and less things from the city... and have now gotten to the point where there is almost nothing I can't get in her store... except for white person hair products, none of that YET.

That's all for now, I hope everyone at home is doing well and I am going to make a conscious effort to blog more, especially since my internet has become more stable.

Mbwa kai and my new fear

“mbwa kali” is the sign you'd post if you had a dog like.... well like viper. Most people in town are aware of her reputation and steer clear. We were walking through a pack of school kids yesterday and it was like watching the red sea be parted. That being said, the other animals refuse to give her such a wide berth. She taunts them and be it a cow, a goat, or another dog if they take her down, I’ll go down with her. Though I do not look forward to this event, I know its what my future holds.

As part owner of this delightful creature you'd think I’d be used to her but I’m not. The other night when they brought her food I was going to open the gate and she literally ran right into my legs. I fell. I fell HARD. I actually thought I may have fractured my elbow but in reality I probably just landed hard right on a nerve. How do I now this? I have 20 doctors at my disposal...

My refusal to believe science teachers are not doctors

My apparent requirement for medical professionals is that they have some science background. No matter what category medical issue I have, I decided which volunteer (if they were a doctor) has that specialty and give em a ring and expect a diagnosis. Usually I call Ryan because she worked at an animal hospital. QUALIFIED! If you can surgerize a dog you can certainly diagnose my symptoms over the phone. Yes, several people have expressed to me that just because they teach science it doesn't mean they know medicine. They're lying. I keep calling.

Strike off

As some of you know, Kenya’s teachers went on strike for the first week of the term. I thought that meant I’d get stuff done. I was wrong. I accomplished approximately nothing. We;re officially back now but as far as my class is concerned we won't resume classes until next week when I have all my rugrats show up. I have a new discipline chart for this term that I have high hopes for, I’ll let you know how badly it crashes and burns.

Fair price

Going to town is not normally the highlight of my day. There's always kids being rude and lets not get into the issue of the blazing equatorial sun. But! The other day I was there with my new market lady and she gave me everything for local price AND gave me two free limes y’all! I love her. Seriously. I almost cried.

Kenya's Alaska

we have a volunteer from Alaska and I went to her site in the Rift Valley for a week of language training. I didn't know Kenya could get so cold. I froze... the whole week. Do you know how bizarre it is to be able to see your breath in Africa? Really bizarre.

A heartfelt farewell

It's hard to imagine or explain being such close friends with people I haven't even known a year yet. I feel like I’ve known some of these people my entire life. Some argue seeing other volunteers helps them keep a grip on their sanity. Seeing other volunteers helps me cling to my insanity which is exponentially more important in my eyes. Anyway, when they leave it sucks. A good friend of mine left last week and I’m jealous America gets to have him now. Without this kid I’m not entirely sure I would have survived training. Anyway, to Karl: you'll be sorely missed by all. See you on the other side.

A few quick thoughts:

• the other day I was almost done hanging my laundry and the entire line snapped in two dragging all my clothes into the dirt.
• I took Viper to the lake to rinse off and when she got out she was at least twice as filthy as when she got it.
• Did I tell you a red pen exploded on my bed? My sheets look like a crime scene.
• Lime makes everything better
• I think my students consider gym class to be punishment for something. It's funny.

Thanks for reading!